2014 :: 2013
2012 :: 2011 :: 2010 :: 2009
2008 :: 2007 :: 2006 :: 2005
2004 :: 2003 :: 2002 :: 2001



I think I was better off when I wasn't blogging. My perceptions of things are almost always clearer the first time around—put them through the mill of the writing process and they're subtly altered to reflect the direction of the narrative, rather than real life.

That's dangerous. It puts distance between me and my life, blunting the sharp, direct experience of things as they happen. It leads me to put stock in a post-hoc version of events. It leads to these situations where someone asks how I'm doing and I refer them to the blog, as it has the most up-to-date rationale I've come up with. I begin to assume that everyone who matters reads the blog, so I stop telling people about my life. I mine conversations for kernels of thought that I can blog about. My blogging m.o. becomes "putting things down for the record" rather than "writing only because I must," and as such, I begin to shed the caution and skepticism that initially accompanied the endeavor.

The prospect of losing this canon of thought begins to make me panic, and the prospect of closing up shop begins to seem ridiculous.

Has anyone else experienced this?

4:14 pm, May 30, 2005 :: erstwhile

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