"My tummy hurts...why oh why did I eat so many cookies?"
"Broke and drunk I practiced for my future career by leering at a really hot train passenger and her boobs for about 160 blocks."
"So yeah we picked her up and we went to a store to buy some fish.. <*)))>< Betas (fighting fish) The one we have was kinda loney I guess. But now that we brought two of them home shes all horny and stuff she keeps looking at the male fish. 0_o; Some guy told me that she was ready to mate and everything. so thats why. And the male fish jumped out of the bowl on miss getting into hers and fell on the floor. >_>;; Nice to know that my fish are horny. 0__<; We also bought a baby beta it's cute and stuff. I dunno why we bought the fish we have a cat..If the fish jumps out again my cat will eat it @_@;...Fish are stupid and horny...0__< "
"Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: BRIAN
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: THE 37 YEAR OLD
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: haha
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: he was all
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: "I can't believe I'm having sex with an 18 year old *poundpoundpound* who's a bigger nympho than I am!"
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: so I dug my claws into his back
Post Mortem Lust [10:53 PM]: and started scratching
Dieyngstyprtty [10:53 PM]: hahaha
Post Mortem Lust [10:54 PM]: and said
Post Mortem Lust [10:54 PM]: "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT *clench*"
Post Mortem Lust [10:54 PM]: "I'm starting to!"
Dieyngstyprtty [10:54 PM]: clearly he just met you."
"I stuck my hand in the mocha jar at work today..haha It felt goowy..yet good..."
"I very clearly said.. there were not DVDs in the package. The obvious progression of this being me getting rejected by Walmart customer service because I don't have the DVDs. ... Of course I don't have the damn DVDs! That's why I'm exchanging it for a set that has the frelling DVDs in it!"