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Really, kids, it's not all random.

I'm getting quite tired of people who say everything is done "randomly," as in, "Oh, I just randomly came by to see you" or "I know, I'm so random, aren't I?" or "She's so very random" or "I randomly do this/that/the other thing." There's no randomness involved when you call everything random, now is there? And really, now, why is it all so random? Are you expressing something profound, like the eternal dichotomy between order and chaos, or are you just going on about nothing? (On a related note, I hate people who continually say they're "rambling" or "ranting," too, or say "constantly" when they mean "continually," but those are other complaints entirely.)

Are these people really buffetted by forces beyond their control all the time? Perhaps they're so fundamentally indecisive about why they even exist, they have to say "It's just random" to everything. Hello, random people: How about you grow a spine and accept some responsibility (oh no, another R word) for your existence, rather than claiming everything you do is divinely inspired randomness? Or grow a vocabulary. I know, I know, you're a unique snowflake, just like everyone else. [jazz hands] Ooo, we're so impressed.

Clarification: A lot of the uses of "random" that I'm bothered by come from 1. sorority girls, with their "Like, oh my God, that's so random" statements, and 2. people who are "intellectual" or "artsy" and use "Wow...that's so random" to identify anything that's done in what they consider to be an awesomely spontaneous fashion. The problem with the latter use is that when they say it, it sounds deprecating, as though they're mocking, rather than appreciating whatever was done "randomly" in all its spontaneous glory.

2:02 pm, November 15, 2003 :: the jablog years

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