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2004 :: 2003 :: 2002 :: 2001



I must confess, I was thinking anti-blogging thoughts last night as I fell asleep. The whole endeavor—putting up a personal website, keeping a weblog, etc.—really smacks of vanity, y'know? The point—well, it's difficult to tell what the point is. One point is to be able to show off your most precious and all-important thoughts to everyone, to show them how brilliant your mind is and what exactly your precious opinion is on every last thing, neh? I wrote about a desire to do just that in high school, after stuttered stints at showing my notebooks to a couple friends—there needed to exist a way to show people my notebooks without garnering rampant disapproval. People may surely judge whatever I say, but the anonymity of the net and people's reluctance to leave comments (much like the fear many people seem to have of answering machines and voice mail) leaves me safely thinking that people have read my writing and approve.

Such vanity on my part. But at least I don't go around whining, "Go see my's really neat...really," at people anymore, then being disappointed when they won't visit it. I try not to do that, anyway. The blog format does tend to keep people coming back, anyway, as it's more likely to be updated and in any way relevant than a website proper. That's a problem in itself, though—the need for reassurance that people are reading and the need to be listed and get hits may well be counterproductive to the whole endeavor of listing my authentic thoughts, as we've well seen. The problem of audience is still there.

[Is interrupted by a German woman asking which of these two forms—"March 11-12, 2003" or "March 11th-12th, 2003"—is the proper form for that range of dates in a formal letter in America. I'd suppose either would work, though the latter is more awkward, neh?]

[shrugs] I thought also about the [fairly obvious] fact that should I ever apply for something from this point on, searching for my name online will bring up this record of my weariness about a whole range of things. It made me think about finding some useful pseudonym to work under, then changing all the titles of my various sites so they don't include my full name, but rather that pseudonym. The most obvious pseudonym that comes to mind, of course, is this very username, limeonaire. I already use that for a lot of things. It's not the most eloquent name, though. My next instinct is to come up with some catchy, trend-whore name like Lotus Ninja or Andariel or something similar...but that's probably just what I should avoid.

[shudders] Unclean...must wash off the stain of imagined trendiness...

12:43 pm, March 02, 2004 :: the jablog years

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